The strange domination of what other people think and people’s opinions of what success means. You have on average 30,000 days. Opinions of success from people that don’t matter (the only person that matters is you and the effort you put in). Nobody’s opinion of you matters but your own. It’s you who needs to be at ease with yourself, your life and to sleep to enjoy another day.
Remember, if you put yourself out in the public eye in any capacity (that includes exiting your front door) people will judge you. That’s fine, we all do it with typically various unsubstantiated levels of prejudice. What you have to do is realize that all opinions and truths apart from your own don’t matter. Behave well, be as good as you can and you’ll still have people critiquing or presenting an angle on who you are and why you do what you do. That’s why opinions as they say are like arseholes (everybody’s got one).
You’re your own judge, the world and society can only affect you if you allow them to. Try some meditation or mindfulness, regulate your breathing and objectively evaluate anytihng you’re worried about.
People who don’t care about you, don’t matter
I had an amusing experience today whereby I was in a ramen restaurant and I needed to use the washroom. After I’d finished I had trouble flushing the toilet and so upon leaving I informed the man that was queued up to use the washroom after me. As I exited I warned him, “Be careful, that toilet doesn’t flush.” And I went to join my girlfriend at our table and enjoy our lunch.
As I was exiting, he grabbed my attention as I passed him and said, “I just want you to know what you did back there was disgusting.” “Excuse me?” I responded. He repeated the comment so I responded, “I was only informing you that the toilet wasn’t flushing so that you were aware.” “Right, well it worked fine for me. That was disgusting.”
I got extremely heated and offended as well as bewildered at the notion that if I were simply peeing and not flushing clear urine, I’d inform the person following me out of some sort of foul sadistic act? I became very angered and clearly expressed that fury. I kept responding, “Apply the logic,” to which his girlfriend said, “That’s what someone who did to that would say…”
My girlfriend also chimed in to add, “Have you never been to a mall where the toilets aren’t working?” To which he responded, “No, we don’t go to those sorts of places.” Clearly indicating what type of person this individual was.
There are some people you’ll never convince
The crux of that story was that no matter what you do, people will cast their own opinions. Whether you’re trying to be considerate of someone else or your intentions are good, it will all be subject to interpretation, no matter how nonsensical. Don’t give that any time or weight as there’s literally nothing you can do about it. I argued, got infuriated and almost took the confrontation too far because I had trouble in the moment realizing how idiotic it was, but why did his opinion matter? It didn’t. You need to realize that as well.
That extends to success or the lack thereof too. Opinions of success from people that don’t matter to you mean nothing, and it’s up to you to determine who does and why.
“Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinion at all.” Lichtenberg, Aphorisms
*** Like most things online it’s hard to say whether these quotes originate with the person they’re attributed to. Regardless, they’re a tool to hopefully inspire you and so does it matter as much as the point the words convey?