One of my main problems also was the fact that I wanted to compare to my more successful but now estranged friends. We hadn’t fallen out just moved in different directions and to different places. But since moving countries I put a lot of stock in how they were and to a degree, I suppose, pined for the time missed and the accomplishments I saw them achieve from afar. I asked myself, “Why waste time comparing yourself?” Because that’s what I seemed to keep holding myself back by doing.
I later started hearing great quotes like “Comparison is the death of joy,” and it made a ton of sense. Nobody has had your life. From your childhood, to your family, to your tastes, to your sense of self. You’re unique. Yes, organ wise and overall you’re likely a human (or a robot, this is being posted on a website), but your experiences, even when close to someone else’s, are entirely unique. So are your stages in life. When you’re ready or something happens to you, it’s not a milestone for anyone but you. It’s important to recognize that. We do have limitations in our days; physical and health constraints primarily influence those, but even they can be controlled to a certain degree if you eat well and exercise regularly.
We also tend to only compare our life situations in the Facebook era to how our friends, family and acquaintances are doing in life. Often ignoring them showcasing primarily things which happen positively and are brag worthy. But if you were to compare yourself to someone wrongfully imprisoned or a cancer victim in their teens… The notion that comparing yourself is beneficial is ridiculous. Judge yourself on how you feel about yourself and see what you need to fix or improve for you to be happy. Those acquaintances portraying a great life may have monkeys on their back that they will never disclose.
Why waste time comparing yourself? It’s ridiculous. Sometimes you’re doing alright. Gain some perspective on where you actually are in life and who you can depend on, evaluate who you are as a person and what you can do to improve your life and others. If you’re not where you want to be, that’s when you need to start employing changes.
And don’t let your time be wasted. Know when other people are wasting it. Informing them of that isn’t the smartest idea, instead know yourself and let them know know you’ve currently got too much on your plate. Don’t end up somewhere resenting your minutes being spent where you don’t want to be and don’t feel appreciated.
Daily inspirational quote:
“You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” Michael McMillan
*** Like most things online it’s hard to say whether these quotes originate with the person they’re attributed to. Regardless, they’re a tool to hopefully inspire you and so does it matter as much as the point the words convey?
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius